Create Your New Beginnings

She Loved Me More – Part 2

So we last left off with the phone call from the woman saying that she thought she was my mother.  If you missed reading that, you can find it here.

Now you have to understand, in this “Letter to the Editor”, I had listed my home phone number (this was before cell phones) and my home address.  At this time, the newspaper was still delivered door-to-door to many, many homes and businesses.  Anyone could have seen my number and called and it could have been a prank call instead of the real thing.  So my response, which was probably barely audible, was “Are you sure?” to which she said, “Yes, I am quite sure.”

There I was, standing in my living room, next to the table where the phone was sitting, talking to the woman who had given me life.  I am not sure what I said next. Some of it is a little foggy.  I could still hear my girls in the tub giggling while my husband was trying to keep an eye on them and still hear what was going on with me.  I walked into the kitchen and just stood by the kitchen table as I talked to her. While trying to give my husband a “It’s really her” hand signal,  I learned that she only lived about an hour from me in an area close to the bigger city phone book that I had given up on trying to find matches for my uncles and grandfather’s names.  Oddly enough, even though she lived in that area, her brothers and father all lived in different states so I would have never found them in it.  I could have found her, but wouldn’t have known it because her last name was not her maiden name.  Her maiden name was Grover.  All that time, I had the first and last name of my grandparents and my uncles because their last names were all Grover and I had received their first names in my initial request for “non-identifying” information. So much for fictitious names. I also learned that my mother had only been married a short time, but that she had kept her married name instead of going back to her maiden name of “Grover” so in my searches, I would not have found her.

In the midst of our conversation, I remember my girls coming out of the bathroom with wet heads and towels wrapped around their little bodies.  They ran to me, screaming “Mommy, you’re home” and hugging my legs as I stood there.  I could hear my biological mother, Sandy, gasp at the sound of her grandchildren that she had never met.  I had stated in the “Letter to the Editor” that I had two children, but didn’t say any more than that, so she didn’t know if they were girls, boys, or how old they were. I told her they were girls along with their names and their ages.  I heard her say to someone else in the room that they were girls, so I knew then that she had others with her too.  I asked her who was there with her and she said that it was her parents, my grandparents.

I don’t remember much more of our exact conversation over the next few minutes, but at one point, she asked me why I had searched for her.  I explained the situation with the lump on my breast and then having the girls had left me wondering about my medical history.  I asked her if she had anything I should know about concerning medical history and she said, “Well actually, I have stage 4 breast cancer.”  I heard it echo in my head over and over  “stage 4 breast cancer, stage 4 breast cancer, stage 4 breast cancer” like a broken record.  She was explaining how she had undergone Chemo and radiation, which had been fruitless and was now looking at alternative natural treatments…again, it seemed I was only hearing “stage 4 breast cancer”.

We talked that evening for nearly two hours and of course, I didn’t go to the meeting I had come home to get the minutes for.  We arranged to meet for the first time about 10 days later on a Sunday afternoon.  I promised to bring baby pictures of myself and we would meet at her home.

I called my parents and told them the news and really the next 10 days, I don’t remember much about.  I am sure I spoke to Sandy again in between because I remember getting directions to her home and having some conversations around that.  I gathered the pictures from my childhood together and likely not near enough to really give my mother any idea of what all my life was like growing up.  I am sure I left out some of those awkward pre-teen pictures and just brought the ones that were less unflattering.

The day came for us to make the drive to Sandy’s home.  I was the most nervous I had ever been in my entire life.  I am rarely nervous.  I can easily talk in front of large groups of people, hundreds, even thousands, do not make me nervous, but the thought of meeting this one person, shook me so hard with nerves, I wasn’t sure I would be able to walk.  Just my husband and girls went with me this first visit.  As we pulled into her driveway and began to get the girls out of their car seats, I carried Mackenzie and my husband had Lakin by the hand.  I took a couple of steps and was sure I was going to drop Mackenzie as I neared the front door.  I handed her off to her dad and took Lakin’s hand.  I opened the screen door and knocked on the inside door.  I don’t think there was a window to see in to from the outside, but I remember thinking that at any moment, my mother was going to be standing on the other side of that door.

The door opened and there she was.  She was so tiny, barely 100 lbs and looked like a shell of what she had probably once been.  It was clear that the cost of Chemo had come at a higher price than just her hair.  She moved slowly and appeared very weak.  I am sure she was just as nervous as I was, if not, more so.  I remember hugging her just inside that door and introducing my husband and our girls to her.  She was not alone.  Her parents were there along with both of her sisters and each of them had brought their daughters.  I was meeting, not only my mother, but also my grandparents, two of my aunts and two of my cousins.

The day was full of pictures and lots of discussion.  We talked for at least 6 hours that day and looked at so many pictures.  They told me about their family, my new family. I tried to keep it all straight in my head.  My family had suddenly multiplied and it was thrilling to learn of it all.  Sandy didn’t talk as much as we did.  She seemed to just take it all in.

After the first meeting, we planned a larger family gathering that would include my parents along with all of my biological family.  Aunts, uncles, cousins, and other extended family were to be there.  That day came about 2 weeks after that first meeting.  It was overwhelming and wonderful all at the same time.  It didn’t go unnoticed, however, at that point that Sandy was really not well.  She was so weak and looked very frail.  She had been taking natural treatments for the cancer, but there hadn’t been improvements and it was discovered that the cancer had spread to her bones.  I am sure she was in pain.  However, she was there and talked as much as she could.  Her time though, was running short.

Over the next few weeks, we corresponded by phone a few times a week and we would go visit once or twice more.  Most of our conversations, after those first couple of family visits, were private.  It was in those moments that she answered most of my questions.  Prior to then, I had been giving her a “play-by-play” of the last 24 years of my life. In the quietness of the days after that first meeting, she shared her story and those details were hard to imagine.  What it must have felt like to leave a hospital knowing your baby was inside waiting to go home with someone else.

I was in college still during this time, but spring break came and I went to visit her more during that time.  Hospice had been called in and the days were coming when she would become unresponsive. One Sunday after church, my husband and the girls and I went to see her.  Nearly all my uncles and aunts were there as well as cousins.  It seemed during this time, we got to know each other even more.  As the day went by, it was time for us to take our girls home.  Sandy had been in a resting state for some time, unresponsive to the goings on in the room around her.  I asked the family to keep me posted.

We set out for home, getting there about an hour later.  As we walked in the door, I could hear the phone ringing.  My aunt was calling to tell me that the time was closer than they thought and that I might want to consider coming back.  I changed my skirt from what I had been wearing all day after church into pants and walked right back to the car.  We sat all through the night with her.  The living room where her hospice bed was set up was filled with her siblings, parents, and a few of my cousins.  I sat on the “davenport” (as my both, my biological and adopted grandmothers referred to the sofa) along with a couple of my cousins, listening to the sound of her labored breaths until there were no more.  It was about 5 am on a Monday morning.  I spent years wondering about her and trying to find her.  I knew her for 6 weeks and then she went Home.

This story seems to end here, but really, this was all just the beginning.  The beginning of an extended family I never expected to have. I have remained in contact with all my aunts and uncles, cousins, and even friends of Sandy’s.  I have been so blessed by all that came from this experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I was never one of those adopted kids that felt like my mother didn’t want me so she gave me away.  I was never, ever bitter towards her.  I never felt like I didn’t belong.  Once I met Sandy and we talked, I saw that I was right to not feel those things. I am so glad I didn’t spend the first 24 years of my life resenting someone for something that wasn’t true.  I know so many adopted children who do that.  Yes, she gave me up, not for her benefit, but for mine.  She loved me more than she loved herself.  Sure, she felt shame in the consequence of her actions that led to me, but she didn’t do it for that purpose, she did it because she wanted more for me than what she could give me on her own.  She loved me more.  She put me first.  She gave me life and then gave me a life that was better than she could provide. She wanted me to experience something she couldn’t give me.

I love her for loving me more.

Sandy knew the Lord and spent much of her time in the Word and worshiping Him.  I know where she is and I know my mom is with her now.  Both of my moms are together in Paradise with our Lord and my best years with each of them are still to come.

~Jennifer

SHE LOVED ME MORE – PART 1

In honor of my birthday this week, I thought I would share the story of me. I was adopted.  I was only a week old when my parents adopted me.  They got a call the day I was born and was told I was theirs and a week later, I went home with them.

I don’t remember a time that I didn’t know I was adopted. My parents told me when I was young, before I started Kindergarten and then continued to talk about it openly throughout the years.  I was always curious and wondered what my “real” mom was like.  I had wonderful parents and siblings (although I didn’t always think so at different times when my brother stuck a dandelion in my mouth or when I fought with my sister or was grounded by my parents) in my adopted family, but that didn’t keep me from being curious about my biological mom.  That is just how people are.  I was the middle child in my adopted family and my older brother and younger sister were both biological to my parents, so I was the only one adopted, although most would have thought if one of us was adopted, it would have been my sister because she didn’t look as much like my mom, brother and I.  I, amazingly, resembled my family more than my own sister who was flesh and blood akin.

All I knew as I grew up was my birth name was Julie Ann Grover and that my parents were told that it was a “made-up” name just for the sake of legal documents.  For the first six months of a child’s life that is put up for adoption, they are technically only foster children and the adoptive parents are foster parents until after those six months.  My legal name was Julie Grover on all the paperwork.  After the six months, my parents legally adopted me and changed my name to Jennifer Lynn.  Other than that, the adoption attorney also mentioned that my adopted mom and my biological mom looked somewhat alike.  That was the only information my parents had concerning me and all I ever knew growing up.

Please know, being adopted did not make me angry at my biological mother.  In fact, I recognized early on that it was a sacrifice she made for me out of love.  I can’t imagine how difficult it was to carry a child for nine months and then give it to someone else to love and care for. I knew it was a tremendous sacrifice.

As I got older, my desire to know more about my medical history played a larger role than curiosity.  I got married when I was just 19 years old and a few months after my marriage, my mom’s younger sister passed from breast cancer.  She was just 36.  I began to think that maybe a self-breast exam was not a bad thing to start doing so I did and the very first time I did, I found a lump.  Let me tell you that will scare the dickens out of you!  I had just seen my aunt fight a horrendous battle and succumb to breast cancer 2 weeks before and now I am finding a lump in my breast.  I decided maybe it was only there because maybe it was a monthly ovulation cycle or something that was causing strange things in my body.  I kept an eye on it for a few weeks, all the while, not telling my new husband that I had found it and silently living in fear that I had breast cancer.  Finally, I told my husband and he made me call the doctor.  The doctor was 99% certain it was benign, but it would require surgery to remove it.  I underwent surgery for a lumpectomy in August 1990 and a biopsy confirmed it was benign.  THANK YOU, GOD!

After that scare, I wanted to know as much as I could about my biological medical history.  I was born at a local hospital and adopted through a state agency in the city I was born in and lived near my whole life.  I contacted the state agency to see what I needed to do to get answers.  Since I was under 21 years of age, my adopted parents would need to sign and have a document notarized giving their authority to search for my biological mother.  They did immediately and I received “non-identifying” information concerning my mother and her family. These papers were copies of papers filled out at the time of her decision to place me up for adoption.  They consisted of a questionnaire that had my biological mother’s first name, Sandra, and personal description such as hair color, eye color, height, weight, age, education level, marital status, and occupation.  The same information was listed for my grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles.  For my biological father, there was very little listed, just this height, weight, occupation, and that he didn’t know of my birth.  There was, however, in all these papers, no medical history information.

For a few years, this seemed to satisfy my curiosity.

Later in 1990, due to some other female issues, unrelated to the lump in my breast, the doctor diagnosed me with a condition similar to endometriosis and was concerned that my chances for having children would be diminished over time.  So, my husband and I immediately began trying to have a baby.  I was pregnant by November 1990, but subsequently miscarried that pregnancy in January 1991.  We conceived again in September 1991 and our first daughter, Lakin, was born in May 1992.  My delivery was difficult and I ended up having a cesarean section after days of unproductive labor.  In February 1993, we conceived again and Mackenzie was born in October 1993, again with an unplanned cesarean section.

By this time, I was beginning to give a lot of thought to my medical history again because now it wasn’t just me I was concerned about, but also, I had two daughters with the same genetic make-up.  What would they ultimately need to know about their medical history?  I decided to start looking for “identifying” information concerning my biological family.  I contacted the state agency again.  They gave me a lot of run around for a long, long time and finally told me that they had to find her first to determine if she wanted to be found and then I could contact her.  They looked her name up in a local phone book and said when they didn’t find it, they had reached a “dead end”.  It was disappointing.

I thought that I could do a little better than that myself, so I started going through local phone books looking for my uncle and grandfather’s names.  I had three uncles and a grandfather that I suspected were still living and since I knew I was born locally, perhaps they were still living in the area.  I scoured over all the local phone books and then moved on to one for a large city nearby.  That larger book did me in. I couldn’t look at any more pages after months of going through name after name, while my girls napped and after they went to bed at night, looking for my uncle/grandfather’s names.  You have to remember, this was in 1993 – 1994 and EVERYONE had a landline back then. I thought I would go cross-eyed if I didn’t quit.

Besides being a “stay-at-home” mom to two little girls, I was also in college full-time and serving in a local community club as recording secretary.  In that community club, there was a young mom who had once given a baby up for adoption.

This young mom also worked at the local newspaper in the town I was born in.  She thought that since I had so much information concerning my biological mother’s family, someone might know them and could help me put the pieces together.  She knew she, as the biological mother, would want her child to hopefully find her someday.  She suggested I write a “Letter to the Editor” giving the information I know and my contact information.  I did just that. I went home and wrote it immediately, proofed it, but didn’t print it and send it just then.  This was in August 1994.

I listed my name, birth date, and age. I gave the hospital I was born in, gave all the names I had received from the state agency, and then went on to explain that because of my biological mother’s sacrifice, I had lived a wonderful life with two parents, two siblings, lots of loving family, and was now happily married (this was BEFORE my divorce) and mother to two children.  I gave my contact information and wrapped it up with a heartfelt note to my mother.

A few months went by and it was January 1995. Again I had not printed the letter and sent it to the paper, only written it.  I stopped at our local grocery store and ran into the young mom from my community club.  She asked me if I had ever written the “Letter to the Editor” because she had not seen it.  I told her I hadn’t, but that I really didn’t know why I hadn’t.  She told me to go home and do it right away.  She was excited for me to see if this would lead to me finding her or at least someone that might know something about it.

I took my groceries home and immediately printed the letter and mailed it.  A couple of days later, the paper called and said they had received it and would be publishing it on Thursday of that week.  They wished me luck and hung up. I kind of pushed the whole thing out of my mind.  I was studying for a college test on Thursday when a friend called to say she had seen it in the paper and she was excited for me.  I asked her to save me a copy of the paper, because I wasn’t sure I would get one.  Again, I really was not wrapping my mind around it because I had been searching myself for a couple of years and I guess I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  I continued to study and left for my class when my husband got home from work. No one had called other than the one friend at that point. That night, after the test, I was going to the community club meeting that I was a part of as well.  My husband was taking our girls to his parents to visit that evening and then would be home.

As I drove from school to the meeting, I realized that I had left the minutes for the meeting at home (remember I was recording secretary) so I had to go home before going to the meeting.  I ran into the house to grab the book and then turned to run back out while calling to my husband to say it was just me and that I was only grabbing the book.  He had our girls in the bath and before I could get back out the door, he called me back in.  He said that there were several messages on the answering machine (again it was 1995) and that he had written all of them down but one because he didn’t catch what she said her number was with the girls giggling in the house.  He explained that the ones he wrote down were just wishing me luck or offering other suggestions on how to find my mother.

I decided to listen to the machine to get the one that he hadn’t written down and to quickly call it back before heading to the meeting.  I called the number and the voice that had matched the one on the machine answered.  I explained that I had received the message they had left concerning the letter in the paper.  She said, “Yes, I believe I am your mother.”

Watch for Part 2

~ Jennifer

MOM – HER LEGACY

Just this past Monday, my wonderful mom went home to be with the Lord.

Mom had a wonderful laugh, anyone who knew her, knew THAT for sure and can probably hearing it in their heads at this moment.  I can.  She also had a wonderful singing voice. Distinct, like no other person I knew.  Again, some of you can hear it now.  I can.

Every person that passes through this life leaves a legacy.  Whether good or bad, they leave a legacy. Some have their names on buildings. Others have scholarships and trusts. Mom left behind a legacy too.  It wasn’t the memory of her laugh or her beautiful singing voice. It was me. Well, not totally, but I am a part of her legacy.  Not because I am her daughter, but because I am her sister – her sister in Christ.

Mom called nearly every woman in her life “Sister”, even me sometimes. The truth is, in the natural, we are not bound together by the same bloodline.  I was adopted by my parents from another mother who loved me. But spiritually, we have the same bloodline – the precious blood of Jesus.

Mom loved to talk about the things of God.  She was sensitive to His voice.  She read His word daily and lived her life according to what she knew He had for her.  She praised Him for all He’d given her and all He promised for her future.  She had a boldness to speak to anyone and everyone about her Lord.  If you had a conversation with her about the things of God, you weren’t the only one.  She talked to everyone about Him.

The Word tells us in Mark 16:15 that Jesus told us to “Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to all creation.” This passage is often referred to as “The Great Commission”. It is not intended only for ministers, but for all Christians. Mom did that. She went into all HER world and spoke the Gospel. She wanted everyone to know her Lord as their Lord.

If she spoke the Gospel to you and if you accepted Christ as your Lord, you are a part of her legacy – just like me. Her legacy will continue in me, in you, in others she met. It becomes our legacy too. The difference between this legacy and the one with buildings with names emblazed on them is eternal versus temporal.  Those buildings will deteriorate someday, they could be renamed, they could be destroyed by fire, storms, etc., but a legacy like the one Mom left behind, is eternal.  The rewards of her legacy are there for her, for me, for you, for all of eternity.  No other legacy is greater.

Psalms 78:4 (GNB)

We will not keep them from our children; we will tell the next generation about the Lord’s power and his great deeds and the wonderful things he has done.

Because of this legacy, our best years together are still to come.  My mom is in my future because of her love for the Lord and my love for the Lord.  We will have eternity together and for that, I am eternally grateful.  Thank You, Lord for giving us eternity with You.

I was tremendously blessed with a beautiful, wonderful Mom and, while I will still miss her between now and then, knowing we will have eternity together makes the wait a whole lot sweeter.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 NIV

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.

~Jennifer

God Wants You Healed – Always!

Did you know it is God’s desire that you are NEVER EVER sick a single day of your life?  If we are not living that way, it is no one’s fault but our own.  Yes, I know that sounds harsh, but it is still true.  He provided for healing, just like He did for salvation.  In fact, healing is part of the redemption package.  Not sure what is in the redemption package?  I won’t do a full teaching on the full redemption package here today, but it includes, forgiveness of sin, righteousness, eternal life, prosperity, healing, and peace.  Those things, if we are born again, are what Jesus provided for us when He went to the cross and rose again.

Today, we will focus on healing.  This is going to be a bit of a “high level” teaching.  That is a business term we used in the business world that was to say, “we aren’t going in depth here, just hitting the highlights.”  So for a more in depth teaching, I may offer some videos and/or one on one teaching via Skype.  We will see.  Let me know if that interests you.

In order to receive anything from God, we need to have faith.  We needed faith to receive salvation and the same is true for healing.  The problem for most people is the symptoms speak louder than our faith and we succumb to the symptoms until we die.  We resolve to think “I gotta die from something.” That is not true, there is nothing in the Word of God that says we are to be sick when we die.  In fact, God desires that we just have a greater desire to join Him in paradise than to live on earth any longer.  That we just choose to go to heaven.  He doesn’t want us to spend a single minute of our lives on earth sick.

Let’s start in Isaiah 53:4-5…I am going to use the Amplified Classic version for immediate clarity.

4 Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy].

5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.

This is found in the Old Testament, demonstrating what Christ was coming to do for us.  The past tense parallel passage is found in 1 Peter 2:24.

He personally bore our sins in His [own] body on the tree [as on an alter and offered Himself on it], that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness.  By His wounds you have been healed.

 In the Isaiah 53 passage, it says that Jesus took our griefs which translates to sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses and carried our sorrows and pains.  In the Hebrew, the word they used for “sorrows” was “makob” and is defined as “pains”.   So this verse clearly states that Christ took those things for us so that we would not need to live in them ourselves.  Why would He take them if we were going to suffer in them anyway?  He never intended that we would.  If we are walking in any sickness, pain, or any other ailment, it is because we aren’t standing in faith.

Have you ever been to an “all-you-can-eat” restaurant?  You know that if you leave there hungry at all, it is your own fault, right?  How many times have you heard people say that about places that give you huge portion sizes or when you are at a buffet?  I hear it all the time….maybe I have been going to way too many buffets!

Anyway, this is like that.  Think of the things Christ took on for us when He went to the cross.  Think about walking up to the buffet and seeing a spread made up of “forgiveness, prosperity, peace, healing, eternal life, righteousness, etc.  Imagine walking up to that buffet, knowing you can have all of it, but only choosing “forgiveness”, “righteousness” and “eternal life”.  What will happen?  Eventually, you will begin to hunger for the other things that buffet had.  The pain will set in and ultimately, you find yourself sick.

I recognize that the forgiveness, righteousness, and eternal life things are easier to receive.  They just happen because you made a decision to accept Christ as your Lord.  Why can’t you decide you want to live in healing too?  Why can’t you decide that you want to live without pain too?  What is stopping you from walking in healing just like you walk in forgiveness and righteousness?  Well, the symptoms probably speak otherwise, right?  Guess what, I don’t wake up every morning feeling righteous, but I walk in it.  I don’t wake up every morning experiencing eternal life, but I know it is mine and no one can take that from me.  So why do we allow the devil to put symptoms on us to make us think we aren’t healed?

You do know that sickness and pain comes from the devil, don’t you?  Would you take something else the devil tries to give you?  He might try to tell you to rob a convenience store, but you don’t let him talk you into that, do you?  Why do you let him talk you into symptoms? All symptoms are from the devil.  God is never going to give you symptoms.  He doesn’t have symptoms to give to anyone.  There is no sickness in heaven and He can only give you what His kingdom has.  The devil’s kingdom is earth and that is where sickness and disease lives.  They are his weapons.

Knowing that God doesn’t desire for us to live in sickness and disease and that He sent His Son to pay the price so we wouldn’t have to live in it, how do we live that way? By faith.  How do we get into and stay in faith? What do we do when symptoms start?

There are 4 steps of faith and if we follow these steps, we can have faith for healing and anything else God promises. (The steps listed below are taken primarily from the book Foundation for Faith by Kenneth E Hagin.)

1. Find the promise in God’s Word for your situation
2. Believe God’s Word and speak it out
3. Do not consider contradictory circumstances
4. Praise God for the answer

Let’s talk these through.

“Find the promise in God’s Word for your situation.”  What are you needing?  Are you needing healing?  Then find scriptures where God promises you that.  I have given you Isaiah 53:4-5 and 1 Peter 2:24, but there are others: Psalm 103:2-5, Proverbs 4:20-22, etc.  Get into the Word and find them.

“Believe God’s Word and speak it out.” Do you believe just part of the Word?  Do you pick and choose what you want to believe about the Word? No, you know God doesn’t lie, so believe it all!  Now, speak it out!  When a symptom arises, tell it what the Word says about it and dismiss it.  We see throughout the Word that when we want something, we need to speak it out.  Jesus spoke to the fig tree.  He tells us to speak to the mountain to be moved.  Faith works by action and speaking is an action.  Kenneth E Hagin said, “Faith in your heart, released through your lips will bring results.”  It isn’t enough to just believe it, we need to speak it!

“Do not consider contradictory circumstances.”  Symptoms are contradictory circumstances.  Doctor reports are contradictory circumstances.  Thoughts from the devil are contradictory circumstances. Those are not good reports.  We only listen to good reports.  In Romans 4:18 – 21, Abraham had heard from God that he was to be the father of many nations.  His body said otherwise.  Sarah’s body said otherwise.  But he didn’t consider those circumstances.  He only heard the good report from God and without weakening in his faith, he did not waver.  The NIV (and others) say he was “fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised” regardless of the contradictory circumstances.  I love that phrase, “fully persuaded”!  He didn’t let anything cause him to doubt what God said He would do.  He stood in his faith and he saw the promises of God fulfilled.  That is exactly what we need to do.

“Praise God for the answer.”  To have faith for something, we need to believe we have already received it (“by His stripes, we WERE healed” – the work is done) and just praise God for it even if the circumstances are still unchanged.  Look at it this way, if you were to win the lottery, does the money just start falling from the sky?  No, you have to wait for it to manifest.  That check doesn’t arrive for a few days (or longer…I have never won the lottery so I don’t know how long it takes for the money to come, but I know it doesn’t fall from the sky.) but that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to receive it.  Believe me, if you win the lottery, you are going to be praising God immediately.  There will be screaming, jumping up and down, tears, and true thankfulness.  You don’t wait until the money comes to start that celebration, you begin immediately because you know you have already won it.  This is like that.  If you have found it in the Word, you are believing God’s Word it true, you have spoken it out loud, you are disregarding the circumstances, you praise God NOW for it.  The victory has been won and as a result you are more than a conqueror, so praise Him now for what He has already done for you.

This reminds me of a story my husband has told while preaching on being more than a conqueror.  He says that when Evander Holyfield stepped into the boxing ring, he would get punched and beaten, even have both his ears bitten off (by Mike Tyson), but he would win.  There he would stand, bleeding from his face (and ears), trying to stand up and he would receive that big fat paycheck.  I am sure he had a moment when it all seemed worth it.  He was a conqueror.  Then his wife would come over and take that check right out of his hand.  She was MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!  She didn’t have to enter the ring, get beaten, barely able to stand up, but she reaped the reward…the paycheck.  That is what Jesus did for us.  He was the Conqueror.  He fought the fight.  He took the stripes upon His back.  We get to reap the reward.  We are more than conquerors.

It is time we walked in that victory and claimed what is ours.  Healing is yours, if you will receive it.

Again, this was a high level overview of healing.  There are other things that certainly be deep-dived into here and I will probably do more of it over time, but in the meantime, if you are dealing with sickness and want more teaching on it, let me know and we will work something out.  It is my desire that you are healed.  I don’t want anyone living in pain and sickness and neither does the Lord!

~Jennifer

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS – THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO “UGH”!

Ah…the New Year brings multiple things to mind…

1. Midnight kisses
2. Fun with friends and family
3. Food, food and more food
4. Fresh starts
5. New Year’s resolutions

There it is is…what comes to my mind when I think of a new year.  That and how long will it take me to start writing 2018 instead of 2017 on everything.  Just for the record, today is January 2 and I am 0 for 2 just today. NOTE: I didn’t write it yesterday because I did absolutely nothing all day.  Yes, NOTHING!

Back to the list of things the New Year brings to mind.  Midnight kisses are fun.  Friends and family are fun. Food is always fun. Fresh starts, who doesn’t love a fresh start?  But New Year’s Resolutions??  Why do we hate them so much?  Probably because it is always stuff like:  Lose weight, pay down debt, organize my pantry/kitchen/closet/office/life, etc.  Sure, sometimes we include things like:  Read more books, spend time with family, take a vacation, etc.  Those are the fun ones, but they are almost always just peppered in with those first several that are not any fun at all.  No wonder we often don’t make it to February with our resolutions.

So let’s break down what a resolution is.  We are resolving to ourselves (and at times, others) that we will do a particular thing.  The word “resolve” means to “decide firmly on a course of action”.  That is a pretty heavy word…”firmly”.  I don’t just decide, but I firmly decide to take a course of action.  I am not sure adding the word “firmly” changes the meaning all that much.  Hopefully when I decide I am going to do something, that should be enough.  So basically we can understand that the word “resolve” means to decide to do something.  I decide to do something every single day before getting out of bed.  In fact, just the act of getting out of bed is a decision.  I am making resolutions every day and sticking to them!  Man, I am better at this resolution thing than I realized.  I resolve to brush my teeth, to shower, to put on clothes (except for yesterday when I stayed in my pajamas all day, but then again, that was a decision too, so SWEET! I am on a role!), etc. These resolutions don’t have to be so hard and when they aren’t that hard, then I feel much better about myself!  WooHoo!  I think I am on to something here.

BUT, as good as all this sounds, I still don’t get much more accomplished this year than I did the last if I don’t make some resolutions for the long term and not just in the moment.  That being said, let’s talk about real resolutions. The kind we firmly decide on a course of action.

Let’s go back to the list of resolutions I started with…lose weight, pay down debt, organize my life, etc.  What is interesting is that each of these things and all others we can possibly think of are made much easier with a helper.  Isn’t it easier to lose weight when you have someone helping you?  Paying down debt is much easier when someone can help you straighten out your finances and see ways to save.  Organizing anything is easier with help.  Even tools can help us, tools like calorie counting apps, or pedometers, or debt calculators, or budgets, or storage bins, or baskets, and the like.  These are all tools and resources to help us with these things.

Let’s look at another source, other tools that can help us.  The Lord!  Do you know that one of His names means the Helper?  The Hebrew word for God is YHWH (Yahweh) and it has several meanings and one of those is “YHWH – my help or helper”. Who better to have has a helper?  The One that says He will never leave us or forsake us.  The One that dwells within us at all times through the Holy Spirit.  Friends/trainers/bankers and the like that are helping us are not available 24/7/365, but God is.  He is always there to help us.  Don’t think you need God to help you organize your life including the pantry?  Trust me, I’ve seen my pantry and I do need God to help me!  He is the Organizer.  He is our Trainor.  He is our debt Counselor.  Our problem is that we don’t let Him be that for us.  We always seek natural ways to do things, without consulting Him first.  Sure, we can organize our lives without Him, but He is far better at it than we are.  We can even lose weight without Him, but our will power is only so strong.  God gives us strength when ours isn’t enough.  He can help us when we just want to give up.  His Word is the tool you can use when you need direction.  He is there in the Living Word.  He is there in the Holy Spirit within you.  He always there.  There is nothing He can’t help you with.  He longs to help us.  He wants us to ask Him for help.

In James 1:5 He says

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” 

He says here that He will give us wisdom when we ask him for it without condemnation.  He isn’t like a friend or a family member who might find fault in us for having our lives so messed up in the first place.  Have you ever gone to a friend for help and they help, but you can tell that they are thinking, “How did you get yourself into this mess?”  God doesn’t do that. He just helps.  That is how He loves us.  I just LOVE that about Him!  No judging, no condemnation, no weird looks, none of that.  Just love and help!

Instead of making multiple resolutions in 2018, make just one.

“I resolve to rely on God as my helper in whatever I decide to do in 2018.”

That is one resolution I like and can get excited about.

~Jennifer